Sunday, December 19, 2010

Short and Not So Sweet!

I tried to order a chocolate long john at Dunkin Donuts for Tyler and they thought I was ordering Paul Bunyan’s underwear. The conversation went a little something like this….
Me: One Chocolate long john….
DD:“What? Long Johns?” (pause) “Longgggg Johnnnnnns??” “What?” “Can you repeat that?!”
Me: “ No, a long john…just one. Not a pair of long johns.”
“Not Long John Silvers”
“Not, Long Duck Dong” (That’s from an 80’s movie for all my younger “fans) A LONG JOHN! It’s a freaking long donut with icing on it!
DD: “Oh, you mean a Boston Cream”
Really, did I say Boston or the word cream at all?
You would think I just got off the mother ship and I was trying to order a finger-on-a-stick. (Which by the way, I think may be served at some state fairs.)
I was beginning to think I was the crazy one. Maybe I made that word up and it’s not even really a donut. Maybe I have led Tyler to believe in this mystical long frosted donut that never was. How dare the Dunkin Donut’s man make me second guess myself! How dare he laugh with he co-workers who now think I am ordering undergarments with frosting.
Me: “Whatever, just give me some fried dough with chocolate on it!”
Anyway, Tyler never got his long john but he did get a round donut with icing.
To be fair, now that I have read the words ‘long john’ a few times…they do sound quite ridiculous. Go ahead, say ‘long john’ 5 times and you will find it pretty amusing.
So, if you are a northerner and want to order a long john in the south; be prepared to get a nice new pair of thermal undies instead!

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